I was on track, getting happier but since Christmas it's been down hill at rapid speed. I wanted change and I definately got it.... oh boy did I ever.... just not what I had originally planned on changing. The past month or so has been challenging. I'm really sore and low on energy. I don't want to go into too much detail but I will say that I'm scared. I am scared that I have become what I feared most. That I ahve let myself be like someone I despise. and whats worse is I know what needs to be done but I can't. Something is holding me back.. something big. It's been holding me down for so long that I don't even know how to get up.
Yes, I am dancing around more issues. It's what I do best. I've become very good at seperate emotions from feelings. I write my emotions so as to feel like I have purged what weighs on me, but I do it in a way that I don't have to feel the underpinnings of it all.
| posted by Kiki at 10:57 PM
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Unknown had this to say:
a lot can be said in silence, but words are important. words give the means to meaning and therefore give us power. Fear is a healthy thing to have, it generally keeps us on our toes and allows us to do expect the unexpected. and sometimes the unexpected does happen, for good or for ill. The best that we can do is to be ready and adapt to the situation to try to find good outcome. As for consequences and truth, we all have to deal with the consequences of our actions or inactions at the appropriate time. I would hope that the blindfold will be lifted soon and that you might be able to experience what life has to offer without the limitations. All humans hope for freedom, i imagine that you do as well. the only way that you can obtain this is to face your fears. untie that blindfold... i know you can.
