Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Holding Back...
Well a relatively new friend of mine, who for the sake of it we shall call Donald, has really made me look deeper into that thought that I have been avoiding for a few years... Brutal reality check but it wasn't something I didn't already know.
After a sleepless night I have come to the realization that I'm okay with being cowardly. I find hope in the belief that sometimes we really are doing something for the sole reason that it will throw off our life path just enough to eventually get where we are meant to go.
I have this strong desire to bring attention back to a previous enter that I wrote over a year ago... it talked about not knowing how the people around you on a day-to-day basis might really be key people in the future.
Just the night before I was flicking through TV (which, if you know me, is a very rare occurrence) and happened to stumble on Sex in the City just long enough to hear "You should always wear make-up and a pretty shirt because you never know who is looking at you" I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of some people and flicked on. (side note... i Hate the idea of Sex in the City and I think Sarah Jessica Parker fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.)
BUT ... after a sleepless night this dumb quote came back to me. .. and it ties in to the not knowing who you will see and when.. and what the future holds. Needless to say, when I need to make a quick grocery stop I might just put the heels on instead of the pumps. Where am I going with this? No where. I am babbling so as not to state what is really on my mind.
~~~I will say this~~~
I have come to realize I'm not the old me, not even close. And I am fickle but not deceitful. I am as loyal as they come but not always true. I want many things but I'm satisfied with just a simple few. And I always want what I just can't have. I am the girl that just when you think you know me, I will throw you for a loop and its back into the unknown.
| posted by Kiki at 12:07 AM
-
had this to say:
You are right. You never know when someone you met on a plane or passed in the frozen foods will become a catalyst or a confidant years later. What brought them to you and why at just the time that they appeared?
Sometimes growth means change and leaving an old self behind. You are the person that you are because of your experiences and the choices that you have made. Good or Bad. I can't change my path to today but I can assure you that I would not be here without all of the decisions that I made in the past. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I guess the only thing I can know for sure is that if that path led me to my current set of experiences then I'm happy for all the mistakes I have made.
